This is how I feel today. Rootless.
Very few things or even nothing makes me feel connected to this place where I was born. To this large city area, Lisbon. Or even this old country, Portugal.
Influenced by another human being, responsible for one of the biggest life landmarks of mine which debuted on June, the 30th, last year, I want to set sails out of here.
There are a lot of factors that are increasingly disliking me here. Today, even too much sun, something that always boast us, the local people of this part of the world. But not only this.
This same people among which I was born is to me today beyond recognition. I do not identify myself with this collective. I feel to be a foreign body. An extra-terrestrial, left lost in this place, for some unknown reason to me.
I am also feeling like foundling by this portuguese state, which is so awkward in taking care of its citizens.
There’s almost no trade - and I have experienced many, already!… - where I can feel satisfied. Or to feel useful in this world. Or even just to allow me to go on swimming with my head over the water surface.
Even the Panem et Circenses that submerge us all here is becoming to me increasingly depressing!... Annoying, even.
I need to take roots somewhere, anywhere else. But for that I will need help. Unless a miracle happens, alone I will not be able to move myself out of here.
What I mostly wish nowadays is to be adopted.
Adopted by someone who I love and who loves me, with whom we feel good in companionship every single day, with both of us drawing out a common life project.
Or a community, wherever I may feel useful to this. Or a new country, with a more just, caring and dynamic society. Where my skills, renewed or acquired, could be better used and with intelligence, as well as the ones of all its citizens.
This is the way that I have and want to create new and strong roots and stuck in a blessed soil. And give a brand new meaning to this existence of mine on this planet.
As I recently said in another blog of mine, I'm a bum. But I’d like to become once again - or finally - a real citizen of this world.
